


The Heart of a Little Child

by angelskuuipo



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Early Work, GFY, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel and Angelus agree on one thing: Connor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart of a Little Child

**Author's Note:**

> First full-fledged songfic. The song is [_Rattlesnake Smile_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=828q4MvdTIo) by Kane (I own neither the song or the band). The damn bunny wouldn’t quit biting my ankles until I wrote it. I was inspired by the line, “When you get stung with the heart of a little child…” 
> 
> Thanks to Tonya for the beta. Originally posted 1-3-05.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  


Every time I looked at him, Angelus purred contentedly in my mind. He talked to me, told me how proud he is of our son, Connor. Angelus looked at him and saw a lasting link to Darla; I looked at him and saw a future.

It surprised me, really. I would have thought he’d hate Connor because Darla staked herself to give him life, but he doesn’t. Angelus and I both felt and saw how badly Darla wanted to see her child, wanted to hold him. She loved him and, therefore, so does Angelus.

The real clincher though, was the night I couldn’t get Connor to stop crying. Angelus whispered, “Let me try.” I was out of ideas, so I thought what the hell. I brought my demon out and my baby boy stopped crying. Connor reached up, touched my true face, and giggled. We were both goners. I think we somehow blended together at that moment. It was a moment of true happiness for both of us, but I was still here. I’m not sure how or why, but I was.

We have an agreement of sorts. If I should somehow disappear, he won’t go after my family and in return I let him out to play when we go up against demons. Most importantly, we both take care of Connor.

~*~

Wesley came to me a few days ago and I could smell the fear and desperation pouring off him. I knew he’d been working himself to the bone, but I had no idea this was coming. See, he’d found this prophecy. It said something along the lines of, ‘And the father will kill the son.’ Wes thought it was about me and Connor and he may have been right. My little boy had been starting to smell like food to me. That scared me more than Holtz or whatever it was that Wolfram and Hart had planned for me. I didn’t want to do anything that could possible hurt my boy; he’s my salvation.

Wes wanted to take him somewhere safe until we could figure something out. Angelus wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but thought it might be for the best. Connor’s safety is pretty much the only thing we agree on. So, I let my son go for a while, until we could find out for sure what was going on.

~*~

I’m going to kill them all: Holtz, his whore Justine, Sahjhan, Linwood, Gavin, and…Lilah.

They are going to feel pain like they have never known before. They took my son and almost took away one of my best friends. Wesley is lying in a hospital bed with his throat slit, unable to speak, thanks to Justine. She took Connor, and for that trespass alone should die. However, she hurt Wes and so she’s going to suffer for as long as I can make it last.

Sahjhan, once I re-corporealize his demonic ass, is going to be permanently put out of commission. This is all his doing. Bringing Holtz to this time, creating the false prophecy about me killing Connor…Quor-toth.

Then there are the lawyers from Wolfram and Hart. Spiking my regular supply with my son’s blood so he’d seem like food, making deals with Sahjhan. And worst of all; keeping me from getting my son back. Connor is with Holtz in some thrice-damned hell dimension and I don’t know if I’m ever going to see him again.

And if by some miracle I do get Connor back? What will he think of me? Will he even know who I am? Will he have been poisoned by Holtz to loathe the very sight of me?

~*~

God love Fred and her brilliant, cracked physicist mind. She’s found a way into Quor-toth and I’m going to get my boy back. Holtz had better pray Connor is healthy and happy or his death will be far worse than he’d ever imagined. I may have been a monster, but what this man has done goes far beyond the games Angelus played. I didn’t have this soul when I destroyed his family. I’m a vampire and I killed humans to live. What’s his excuse?

Guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m getting my son back and Wes is going to be all right. My family will be whole again. Then those responsible will pay…in blood. For now though, I have to get ready for the ritual.

 

-30-

 

For those interested, here are the lyrics to Rattlesnake Smile by Kane:

It’s been a long time  
Since I wore this rattlesnake smile  
And a lotta my friends haven’t seen it in quite awhile  
I feel my eyes rollin’ deep inside my head  
And there’s a feeling of misconception in the air

Yeah, I’m startin’ to see  
Yeah, I do believe

I used to have a soft southern glowing face  
I used to lead my heartaches with the chase  
When you get stung with the heart of a little child  
Well, that’s how you get that rattlesnake smile

You better keep your distance  
In this tangled shape I’m in  
Now no one had better touch me right now  
In this cold-blooded thick skin

Oh, I said you better run real fast  
When you hear that rattlin’ sound  
Well, you better run real fast, man,  
Or this one’s gonna knock it down

I sit alone and try to shed this skin that I live in  
Trying to clear my vision once again, hah

Well I ain’t no good to no one no how, not right now  
‘Cause I forgot to run myself and I got run down  
Do I look like something you can put in a fuckin’ cage?!  
Come over here and gimme a kiss

Yeah, I’m startin’ to see  
Yeah, I do believe

Better keep your distance  
From this tangled shape I’m in  
Now no one had better touch me right now  
In this cold-blooded thick skin

Better, hell, well  
Now I said you better run real fast  
When you hear that rattlin’ sound  
Oh, I said you better run real fast  
Or this one’s gonna knock you down

And I sit alone in the desert rain  
With my tail in the air  
Ohhhhhhh


End file.
